The Day in Obama: Day 3

Yet another big day for the world’s biggest celebrity with the shittiest job the universe has ever known. Here’s the run-down for Day 3 (yes, we know we didn’t do anything for day 1 or 2, we were busy picking up “hope debris” on the National Mall):

  • Signed an executive order to close Guantanamo Bay: Nice to know the constitution has meaning again, but really, more lay-offs?
  • Signed second order officially banning torture: Not coincidentally followed by the announcement that Caroline Kennedy is abandoning her bid for the vacant NY Senate seat, sparing the world from any further subjection to her public speaking skills.
  • Picked George Mitchell as his Middle East Envoy: Oh, um, scratch what I said earlier about the shittiest job in the world. Mitchell says he believes another “Peace is possible” in the region, and later has to explain he thought he was asking for seconds on the pie.
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