ObamaWatch Day 16: Wait a Second – I’m the frickin’ President!

After taking a seatless bicycle to the nuts from the media and Tom Daschle’s accountant on Tuesday, Barack Obama woke up today and  was comforted to remember that his ball point pen is the most powerful in the world. So he used it to give health insurance to 4 million children and take away millions of dollars from inept, infuriatingly-arrogant-with-a-sense-of-entitlement-that-makes-the-kids-on-the-Real-Housewives-of-Orange-County-seem-like-fucking-Tiny-Tim Wall Street executives. He also did that cool thing where he rolled it from finger to finger over his knuckles. Then he pulled a quarter out of Barney Frank’s ear.

  • Obama Signs Children’s Health Insurance Bill – The bi-partisan bill renewed a popular program for families that make too much to qualify for Medicaid. It also expanded the program to millions more kids. As a result, stock in Cheney’s Sickly Student Stew, INC. plummeted, and physicians received millions of new free notepads from drug companies in anticipation of the millions of new brats ready to be zombified with Adderol.
  • Obama – Salary Cap at 500k for executives! – Executives at companies that went looking for government handouts are going to have a tough time affording those helicopter rides to work or $10 million “We got a bailout!” themed parties. Conversely, those companies will have a tough time finding top talent to help them destroy the modern economy and everything Milton Friedman stood for.

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ObamaWatch Day 15, Cleaning Out the Cabinet

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  1. mikeangelo

    Haha. Funny shit and to the point!

    -MikeAngelo-

  2. wreckingballreport

    Thank you, and thank you for your service, Sir! You aren’t the only one with fancy-dancy spy technology, Navy Boy!




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