Phelps: You’re a Jackass, But You Still Got Screwed

So let’s see – half the professional sports world gets Christmas cards from Balco, the governing body that oversees the Olympics is notoriously scandalous and tainted by corruption, and yet one pic that would be considered tame by modern MySpace standards hits the tabloids…  and one of the greatest American athletes of our time gets suspended and his entire career is now  in question?

This shit isn’t supposed to happen with a black President! (No, not because all black people smoke pot. At least we don’t think that’s true… Anyone ever hit a spliff with Michael Steele?)

Besides, do you know how fucking impressive it is to toke such a heavy bong-load and still have the motivation to win 8 gold? And not even be the slightest bit paranoid about walking around in Speedos?

Still, Michael Phelps is a jackass.

But, that said, Team USA seems to be performing a collective cranial self-colonoscopy here. Why don’t you just hand the boy citizenship papers for the Netherlands? Prepare to be crushed by the new ‘swimming dutchmen’ in 2012, you toolboxes.


  1. It’s gotta be tough to be a good role model in this day and age when anyone can pull out a camera phone at any second.

  2. it seems ridiculous that Michael Phelps is getting so much flak from this supposed marijuana scandal… Since when have we taken the reporting of trashy tabloids so seriously?

  3. sungirl

    I say if this guy can hit a bong like that AND still have the lung capacity to grab 8 medals – MORE POWER TO YA!

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