Mashed News: Google Finds Atlantis; IL Gov. Asks Roland Burris to Check it Out

Google Earth, the application best known for boosting the self-esteem of crop circle enthusiasts, and its new sister app, Google Ocean may have helped lead to the discovery of the ancient, mythical, D&D nerd fantasy city of Atlantis. Experts say they’ve spotted what appears to be grid-like lines on the Ocean floor off the Canary Islands that could be the remains of the lost casino-inspired city.

Upon hearing the news, IL Governor Pat Quinn called a press conference to nominate scandal-ridden Senator Roland Burris to head a team of explorers to the site.

“I can think of no place where Mr. Burris many talents would be more welcomed than the bottom of the ocean. A really, really far away part of the ocean. Mr. Burris has always been a trailblazer, and as the first black man to be appointed to the Senate by a really big white asshole to replace the first black President, he will always be a part of history, which is why he should go look at this ancient history place – if you see what I’m getting at.”

Mr. Burris has not yet said whether he will accept the nomination, but has been defiant in insisting that neither he nor former Governor Rod Blagojevich had anything to do with the sinking of the Lost City more than 10,000 years ago – despite the recent surfacing of ancient tablets depicting a man resembling Burris speaking with the Greek God of Hair, Blagosius.


    Leave a Reply

    Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

    You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

    Google+ photo

    You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

    Twitter picture

    You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

    Facebook photo

    You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


    Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: