Posts Tagged ‘Eric Mack’
After taking a seatless bicycle to the nuts from the media and Tom Daschle’s accountant on Tuesday, Barack Obama woke up today and was comforted to remember that his ball point pen is the most powerful in the world. So he used it to give health insurance to 4 million children and take away millions of dollars from inept, infuriatingly-arrogant-with-a-sense-of-entitlement-that-makes-the-kids-on-the-Real-Housewives-of-Orange-County-seem-like-fucking-Tiny-Tim Wall Street executives. He also did that cool thing where he rolled it from finger to finger over his knuckles. Then he pulled a quarter out of Barney Frank’s ear. Continue Reading »
Richardson, Killefer, Daschle, Geithner (sort of)…. The Dems’ political titans (and that Killefer lady) are falling like bowling pins on a winter Friday night in Milwaukee. Who will go down next to help Repubs pick up the spare? Will we find out that Tom Vilsack is hooked on crack? Or that Eric Holder was instrumental in pardoning some scumbag years ago? Or maybe the next bombshell will come from capitol hill – could Henry Waxman be cheating with meticulously waxed men?
It was a rough day for the big B.O. – you might even say it stunk. Two Obama insiders removed themselves from the running for jobs in the administration, including the biggest Democratic donkey of late, Driving Mister Daschle himself. But that wasn’t the real surprise of the day – it came later when we watched an American President apologize profusely. Wha?? But doesn’t that mean that the terrorists have won? Here’s how it came to this: Continue Reading »
Poor Tommy D – seen here downloading a new Kanye West ringtone using the White House blackberry account as his accountant digs her nails into her armrest – this guy just can’t catch a break.
He gets thrown out of office, just because he was in charge of one of the wimpiest Congressional minorities in history that rolled over and let the GOP attempt to turn the constitution into a Lockheed Martin invoice. Continue Reading »
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Obama and Lauer sat down with the full intention of not talking over the heads of the 50 million people watching, but Obama proved unable to contain himself from dropping at least one JD-bomb, when he told Lauer that US efforts in Afghanistan would not be able to transform that country into a “Jeffersonian Democracy.”
Somebody needs to tell this guy that we’re watching for a healthy dose of controlled violence and commercials with talking babies. Continue Reading »
44 spent the start of his Super weekend defending Health and Human Services nominee Tom Daschle, not for his terrible eyeglasses that make even Bono say “Dude, come on!” but in the face of tax troubles. Hmmm… I’m getting a since of deja vu… Nope, sorry that’s “Where the Streets Have No Name” playing in the background. Weird. More on that whole Daschle thing further down. On Sunday, Barry O was determined to turn the weekend around with a Super Bowl party at the white house and a feel-good sit down interview with American journalism’s very own Tom Hanks, the devilishly normal Matt Lauer. Continue Reading »
The P. Diddy signed executive orders to help the few employed workers remaining in America, in particular those that still belong to unions. Yes, we still have those. They’ve been somewhere in the corner of our closet for the past decade. He also called China’s Hu Jintao to talk about currency, but became so god-awfully bored by the conversation that they soon fell back on a twenty minute “Hu’s on first?” routine. Oh, and just to round out the day, he recorded a video address to the nation confirming that the world seriously sucks right now. Thanks for the jump start on the weekend, Barry.
- The President invited union leaders to the signing ceremony for a few executive orders – aiming to undo Bush policies that were tantamount to forcing union leaders to wear all pink with “kick me” signs attached to their backs for the last eight years. Union leaders said they were excited to get back to work, just as soon as they find some.
– MyDD: Labor Has An Ally In The White House Again
- The President Hears a Hu – In a move that’s almost to boring to report, but important enough that it’s clawing Chinese characters across my forehead right now – that conversation between Chinese President Hu Jintao and Obama came after Treasury Sec. Geithner made his first faux pas during his confirmation hearings, calling China a “currency manipulator.” The call was apparently to smooth things over as Obama prepares to ask the Chinese for one of the biggest loans in history to bailout the world economy. Sound important? It is, but if I went any further into the details you’d have to spend the next 8 hours watching C-Span just to do something more exciting.
- Confirms “Everything Really is as Shitty as It Seems” – In his Saturday morning video address, Obama called the ongoing economic downturn “a continuing disaster for America’s working families.” Then apologized for blowing sunshine up our asses.
– Politico: Obama has More Bad News
– Eric Mack
The power, oh, the glorious power. #44 got his first real taste of Presidential power Thursday (Ok, except for blowing up all that stuff in Pakistan last week) by signing his first bill into law. He also made a big to-do about Wall Street executives that get big bonuses for selling imaginary products that are now destroying the financial world. And just when the man was about to feel invincible, untouchable, like some kind of good-looking version of Rush Limbaugh, maybe… a military judge brought him crashing back down…. Continue Reading »
But, apparently we knew enough. So much for the political power of The View. Enjoy your six-figure salary at some shady consulting firm, followed by the seven-figure book deal. Well, as soon as that minor affair of a trial on federal charges is all over with, that is. Dick.
The commander-in-chief gets both his stimulus and his drink on after completing his first full week in office – Obama’s stimulus package passed the House in the afternoon, and the President invited Congressional leaders for cocktails at the White House. The Secret Service has been instructed to keep Nancy Pelosi away from the tequila, and to save the worm for Joe Biden to add to his collection of folksy “let me tell you about this one time I ate the worm” anecdotes. Continue Reading »